re: Social traffic

hi
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Missed Classic: Hollywood Hijinx - Atomic Chihuahuas From Hell

Written by Joe Pranevich

Like this, but atomic and from Hell. 

Hollywood Hijinx has been a fairly breezy game so far, neither too challenging nor too serious. When we left off last week, I explored the first floor of the house and recovered two of Uncle Buddy's "treasures", film props of dubious value that I must collect to inherit the family fortune. Not everything has been perfect-- the hour I spent mapping an oversized maze was not time well spent-- but it's good enough. While I do not understand (yet?) the distaste that some have for this game, it's a thinner experience than most Infocom adventures. It doesn't aspire to be more than a cute treasure hunt and that's okay, but it remains to be seen how that will translate into a rating once I'm through.

My plan for this post was to play the game to completion and knock out a quick rating, but I didn't make it. With luck, we'll wrap up next time. 

Before I begin, I should remind readers that I play these games like an insane rabbit who tried to give up coffee but keeps getting drawn back into its dark embrace. I jump around from puzzle to puzzle, trying one thing and then another, and return when I have a better idea even if it's in the middle of doing something else. None of that makes great reading, so the following is a mildly sanitized account of my explorations where I knock down one puzzle after another in sequence. Do not be fooled, I spent a lot of time just beating my head against things. Now that you understand why I can never stream on Twitch, let's get to the game!

Roger Corman in 1986.

Moving on Up

I left off last time with a dozen leads, but I hit the closest puzzle first by targeting the "coat closet" in the Foyer. While exploring the cellar, I realized that the closet there was really the bottom of an elevator shaft. If I can operate the elevator, I may be able to get past the booby-trapped stairs and up to the second floor. Inside the closet were a set of three pegs (once of which had a bucket hanging from it), a pair of skis, and a sawed-off peg where the fourth would have been. I pull on the first peg and the elevator descends into the cellar. Pulling the third takes me up to the second floor. That was easy! Judging by the stub, there must be a way up another floor as well. For now, I just explore the second level.

We emerge on a landing at the top of the stairs. Looking down, the most prominent feature is a "newel" in the shape of Roger Corman's head. Corman was one of the masters of b-movies, but I had to look up what a "newel" was. (It's the design at the top of a stair railing.) The bust is suspicious and clicks when I turn it. This locks the stairs in place and we can now ascend and descend without using the elevator. Mr. Corman was 61 years old when this game was made; he's still alive and kicking and still producing bad movies into his 90s. He has quite a legacy, but I regret that I have never seen any of his films. 

The second floor is dominated by a single east-west hallway. The western end has a bathroom with a Jack Valenti bath mat. I find the red punch card underneath, but nothing else in the room. The plumbing appears to have been turned off so I will not be able to remake the scene from Psycho. Valenti was president of the MPAA until 2004 and created our modern film rating system. (His system replaced the Hays code that we discussed briefly in my coverage of Moonmist.) There are three bedrooms on the floor: the master bedroom, kids room, and a guest bed, but none of them appear to have anything of interest. 

At the eastern end of the hall is a window. Tucked underneath the closed pane is the top of a blue sack. Opening the window sends it crashing to the ground, but we can save the contents if we grab hold first and then open the window. Inside is a "Maltese finch", a prop from a b-movie knockoff of The Maltese Falcon that took place in a petshop. I'll leave that to your imagination, but I that's ten more points and a third treasure.  

The Tokyo Tower is slightly taller than the one in Paris. 

Smashing Tokyo

My next area to explore is the scale model of Tokyo in the game room. This turns out to be one of the more creative puzzles that I have experienced in this series. It's not difficult, but it is a lot of fun to tinker with and has great descriptions. At the risk of being too verbose, I'm going to liberally quote some of my favorite bits to give you a flavor. 

Here's what the model looks like when I arrive:

It's the scale model of downtown Tokyo used in the movie "Atomic Chihuahuas from Hell." In the center of the model is Tokyo Central Park. In the eastern half of the park, there is a monument. There is a Big Diamond Ring perched on top of the monument. Stretching east and west from the park is Tokyo's main street. In the street west of the park there is an Atomic Chihuahua. The entire model is covered by a thick plastic dome. Outside the dome on the model there are five buttons: a blue button, a black button, a green button, a white button, and a red button.

To get this out of the way first: it's clear that Uncle Buddy had never been to Tokyo. I know of no part of the city that even vaguely maps to this model, but I suspect that is part of its charm. Uncle Buddy wanted his own kaiju film and why should a thing like realism stand in his way? The second thing that I notice is that the "Big Diamond Ring" isn't from the Atomic Chihuahuas film, but rather was the eponymous jewelry from The Big Diamond Ring. I feel dirty using the word "eponymous" about these props, but it's clearly one of the treasures to collect. 

Pressing the buttons starts up the model and reveals it to be a game within the game. I cycle through the buttons in turn to see what everything does: the blue button causes the chihuahua to grasp the air in front of it, black causes it to stomp its feet, white swipes forward, red shoots fire, and green walks the chihuahua east through the city. No sooner do we start walking than this happens:

Suddenly, several blocks east of the Atomic Chihuahua, a pair of tiny tanks turn a corner onto the main street. They're heading straight for the Atomic Chihuahua. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a puny plane flying over the park. The puny plane banks, turning towards the main street. 

It's just a model.

I march the chihuahua towards the park, but he's not going to make it without a fight: 

The tanks, only a block away, begin firing as they move within range. Over the park, a second plane joins the first one. The Atomic Chihuahua takes two rounds in the throat and gasps. (Two rounds to you and me, but that's 14 rounds to little scale face!) 

I have no idea what that means, but our chihuahua plows through the bullets but reaches a point where he can no longer press through. Fortunately, one of the planes gets too close so I press the white button to swat at it:

The Atomic Chihuahua swipes at the puny planes, striking one. A puff of black smoke begins to trail from the puny plane. It rolls to one side, then heads down, crashing in a Tokyo suburb. 

I take out the second plane in the same way, but this one crashes in the Tokyo Disney parking lot. Uncle Buddy knew something about Tokyo! In 1987, this was only four years after Tokyo Disneyland opened and well before Tokyo DisneySea was a glimmer in Michael Eisner's eye. (I have been to Tokyo Disneyland. It was the first time I ever ate a churro, a memory that I will cherish forever.) Now that the planes are taken care of, I turn my attention to the tanks. A good stomp with the black button takes care of them: 

Just as the Atomic Chihuahua is about to raise its hind leg, one of the tiny tanks drives up on its toenail. As the Atomic Chihuahua raises its hind leg, the tiny tank is lifted off the ground and hurled through the air into the middle of a nearby apartment building, demolishing a large portion of it. Hundreds of houseplants fall to their deaths. The Atomic Chihuahua stomps the street's pavement with its clawed foot. 

Tokyo Disney is one of the only "real" things in this model.

The roads are clear and I have a straight line to the park, but that's not the end of it. A moment later, we have a new challenge:

The Atomic Chihuahua, in a wounded waddle, moves into the west end of the park, violating all leash laws.

Suddenly, from under a clump of trees at the east end of the park, a tiny truck with a rocket mounted on it rolls into view. (Apparently, violating Tokyo's leash laws is not taken lightly.) A small radar dish on the tiny truck spins furiously until it locks on the Atomic Chihuahua and stops. A puff of smoke comes from the back of the rocket as it blasts off towards the dog.

While the preceding bits were fun, this is where it gets tricky. The rocket will home in on our atomic mutt and destroy him in a few turns. There are multiple ways to get past this, but my first attempt was to breathe fire. I fail at this a lot: 

Suddenly, the rocket makes a wide right turn in front of the Atomic Chihuahua. It seems to have found the spot it was looking for. The rocket's speed increases as it heads for the dog's heart!

> press red button

A flame shoots from the dog's mouth into the air. 

The rocket swoops down, striking the Atomic Chihuahua in the chest. The Atomic Chihuahua explodes and pieces of fur and scales, mixed with bits of wire and a couple of servomotors, scatter throughout the area. 

** The Atomic Chihuahua has died. **

Tokyo is saved!

Sometimes, however, that works and my assumption is that I just need to time it exactly. Once the missile is destroyed, we still need to collect the ring. If we move too quickly, the chihuahua knocks over the monument and leaves the ring uncollected on the ground. We must walk up to the monument then use the blue button to grab it. After that, we blow through the monument and continue strolling through faux-Tokyo. Eventually, we reach the plastic end of the dome and I am stuck with no way to get the ring out. I restore to reset the puzzle and come back later with a fresh perspective. 

But wait, there's more!

I come back to this puzzle a bit later. I discover that I can roast the plastic dome using my fire breath, but not enough to cut a hole through it. The issue seems to be that I have a limited amount of fuel and I burn up some of it when destroying the missile. I need to find a new approach. Next time around, I ignore the projectile entirely. I grab the ring and march to the other side of the park near the satellite van. If I make it fast enough, I can stomp the van before the missile enters its final approach. No longer having a homing signal, it careens out of control and crashes elsewhere in the city. 

The Chihuahua raises its hind leg and soundly stomps on the tiny truck, smashing it to bits. The rocket heads straight to the Atomic Chihuahua, then begins to swerve and dive erratically. It sails past the Atomic Chihuahua, colliding with Tokyo's tallest building, the Ginsu Building, corporate headquarters of the Ginsu Knife Company. Just as your mind pauses to consider the possibility of a ginsu knife standing up to this kind of punishment, the rocket explodes and the entire building collapses. Tokyo isn't saved, but millions of late-night TV viewers are. 

I know it's a joke, but I cannot help but to comment anyway. Despite the name, "ginsu" knives are "All American", manufactured by the Scott Fetzer Company in Ohio and Arkansas. The name was coined to resemble Japanese and suggest a connection with samurai swords. In my youth, the knives were incessantly hawked on infomercials, doing amazing things like slicing through tin cans without becoming dull. I'm not sure how often a knife needs to do that, but it's there if you need it. By 1987, the infomercials were going out of style and this reference may have already seemed dated. You may be interested in knowing that the tallest building in Tokyo in 1987 was the "Sunshine 60", a mixed-use skyscraper in the Toshima district. 

With the missile destroyed and a full tank of gas, I sear my way through the plastic and collect the ring. That's another treasure!

Biggest building in Tokyo, 1978-1991

A Night at the Theater

I didn't look at the theater much in my first rapid-fire mapping of the house. I still do not find anything new of note in the bathrooms or the theater itself, but the projectionist's room houses a simple set of puzzles.

We have two projectors, one for slides and the other for film, as well as both a slide and a brief three-second film clip. All we have to do is assemble the pieces. The only trick with the slide projector is that we need to focus it after turning it on. The only trick with the film projector is that we have to remove the lens cap. If we run one or the other, we see disconnected and meaningless letters, but when they are both on at once we are treated to a message:

PLAY "Yesterday"

   Love,

      Aunt Hildegard

Solving this nets me 10 points, even without collecting a treasure. My guess is that "Yesterday" refers to the Beatles song, but I have not seen a record player or similar anywhere. I try playing it on the piano in the parlor and am rewarded by a secret passage opening in the floor.

Good thing we play piano!

Heading down, I discover a north-south crawl space that runs the length of the parlor above. The passage north is blocked off by the floor of the room above and too narrow to crawl through, but south is clear. Both the center and southern rooms have removable pillars, but there is no way to get them out while they are load-bearing. 

The funny thing about the parlor is that all the furniture, except the piano, was bolted to the floor. Since that must mean something, I push the piano and discover that we can maneuver it either to the north or south ends of the room. I suspect that what we have here is a "see-saw" and we will need to push on the south to raise the floor on the north. Perhaps once the floor is raised, we will be able to see what treasures are hidden in the northern passage. Moving the piano south changes nothing, thanks to that pillar that is down there. Instead, I push the piano north to find that the south pillar is loose. I grab it. I then push the piano to the south side of the room, causing the floor to partly collapse:

You push the piano to the south a couple of feet and the room begins to tip. As the south side of the parlor tips down, the piano rolls across the floor and slams against the south wall. The north side of the floor tilts up.

The northern part of the crawl contains a parking meter and ten more points. I also snag the other loose pillar on my way out and head back to the foyer to plot my next move. 

Not many of these around anymore. You'd have to carry around COINS.

Melting People

Let's take stock. I've located five of the treasures with five left to go, but most of the obvious leads have been chased. One of the remaining puzzling things are the three Hindu gods on the mantle in the living room. They are candles and I can light them, if I am willing to lose my last match. (I can obviously light the successive candles with the first.) I light them all up and wait… and wait… and wait until they burn down. I even have to restart the game to do this because they don't all burn down before morning. After restarting and lighting the candles right away to allow for burn down time, I was rewarded by… absolutely nothing. Whatever we are supposed to do with them, it doesn't involve objects hidden in the middle. 

Looking more closely at the candles, I catch something that I missed last time: not only are they holding up different numbers of fingers, they are doing so with different hands. The red one is holding up three fingers in its right hand, while the white is showing seven (how!?) in its left, and blue showing five in its right. Right, left, right. It's a combination for a safe! I try this out on the safe in the hallway and am rewarded with a Mafia-owned cheese grater, another "treasure". That six down and four to go.

Actually, let's call that seven and three. Since I was playing around with fire anyway, I loaded and fired the cannon in the far north of the property. Firing it while empty does nothing, but if you load the cannonball in first then the recoil exposes a hidden panel and catcher's mitt. Since this wastes my match, I just make a note of this for now.

Safes and paintings are a thing in adventure games.

A Light in the Attic (and in the Cellar)

This is the point where the puzzles become more difficult. I still do not know how to get down the broken stairs at the beach, or get up to the third floor of the house, or open that mysterious hatch in the northern end of the property. 

While I think I know how to use the computer, I am missing one of the punch cards. There are seven rows of lights on a panel and a different row lights up every time I insert a card into the slot. Since there are seven rows and six cards, I'm still missing one. Inserting the cards in random order doesn't do any good because the lights glow in a nonsensical pattern. If I put them in rainbow order, the display nearly reads "571-3190". I say "nearly" because the final row is not turned on and so the numbers are missing their bottoms. Calling the number on the phone does nothing, but I'd be willing to wager that it will suddenly work when I find the final card. Where is violet? And more importantly, why indigo and violet instead of purple? Are there disagreements over what happens when you mix red and blue?

Gaining access to the attic wasn't difficult once I discovered the trick. I noticed early on that the elevator moved when the pegs reset to their "up" position, rather than when they were pulled "down". We also got a nice clue with the rusty bucket hanging on one of the pegs at the beginning. Unfortunately, I spend an inordinate amount of time putting heavy things in the bucket and trying to get it to break. I was sure that if I left it there with the cannonball long enough, the bottom would fall out and it would trigger the elevator. That was not to be. Instead, I stumble on the solution while exploring the grounds for the tenth time: water. All of the water in the house has been turned off, but there is a small pond in the garden. If I fill the bucket with water, it starts leaking immediately. By filling it, then rushing to the house, placing it on the third peg, and then running upstairs, I can be standing on the top of the elevator when the bucket becomes light enough for the peg to reset. That moves the elevator up the second floor, but positions me one floor above that, in the attic. 

I'd love to tell you that there was a great puzzle up there or, even better, a punch card. Nope. All we get is a hatch that we can open to return to the second floor and a treasure chest containing a fake fire hydrant. Another treasure!

Downhill stair skiing is not yet an olympic sport.

Beach Blanket Bungled

With only two treasures left, my breezy trip through Hollywood Hijinx ends here. I am stuck. 

Getting down to the beach was easier than I expected. If I descend the stairs while wearing the skis that we found in the closet, I glide across the gap easily. There is no way back up, but at least I find a nice secluded beach. At the bottom of the stairs is a lit campfire as well as an extra match, although this one is green instead of red.

Exploring the area reveals a nearby grotto. If I drop my stuff and swim, I can even locate a hidden tunnel in the dark water that leads me to a secret-- but very dark-- room. The problem is that I cannot find a way to bring a light source with me to the room such that I would be able to finish exploring it:

• The flashlight fizzles out permanently if you get it wet.
• While we can hide the flashlight in the cloth bag, it is not waterproof and the flashlight dies anyway.
• Both the red and green matches become waterlogged from the swim and can no longer be lit.

And that is where I will end it this week. All I have to do is find one more punch card and one waterproof light source and I suspect that will be the final two treasures. Unfortunately, time is catching up to me. It's now 7:01 AM and I may not have enough turns left to win before the lawyer arrives. I am not looking forward to playing the game over from scratch to do it faster; that was a Zork feature that I did not need to have repeated. 

See you next week.

Time played: 4 hr 10 min

Total time: 6 hr 00 min

Inventory: flashlight, red statue, white statue, blue statue, dirty pillar, dusty pillar, lens cap, skis, bath mat, cloth sack, thin paper, matchbox (with match), brick, shovel, letter, photo, will, copy of The Status Line, business card, yellowed paper

Punch cards: green, violet, yellow, red, blue, indigo, orange

Treasures: cheese grater, fire hydrant, diamond ring, parking meter, Maltese finch, rubber stamp, stuffed penguin (plus I know how to get one more)

Score:  90

---

Voting! Thank you all for voting in the poll last week. I did some math and assigned your first choices with 5 points, second with 3, and third with 1. Adding them up, Bureaucracy just narrowly beat out Space Quest V with a score of 15 to 14. I am starting the research for that now. I have a feeling that I will come back to Portal soon enough, especially as I am inspired to try to close on a few of those Activision adventures we discussed. 

Karen Tenkar Gets Offended

 

What in the world?

So, I'm checking in on Tenkar's... sorry, I mean Karen's Tavern when I see this post about a DriveThru product with a dumb pseudo-political message at the bottom of the product description.

Apparently, Erik was offended enough by "All Cops Are Bastards" to email DriveThru with a complaint.  Later that day, the product was nuked from orbit.

Now, I'm not a fan of ACAB or much of anything coming from the Antifa, BLM, and rioting leftist area of the culture.  But I'm not going to complain, I'm not going to say it shouldn't be there, I'm not going to suggest that products with offensive slogans (political or not) should be removed from shelves (virtual or not).

Last time I checked, this was a free fucking country.  The category of "offensive speech" like "hate speech" doesn't exist.  It's made-up.  But you know what's not make-believe?  Cancel culture.  It's as real as a heart attack, and people like you and me are living on its edge.  We're just one bad tweet away from disintegration, my friend.  And the pathetic pearl-clutching authoritarians and losers who believe in such things are only doing it for control.  

Part of the reason why I wouldn't want "All Cops Are Bastards" to be censored, other than the fact that it's none of my god damned business, is because it's a slippery slope.  

I also wouldn't want products or product descriptions with "Jeffery Epstein Didn't Kill Himself" taken down... or "Black Lives Matter" or "Blue Lives Matter" or "All Lives Matter" or "Social Justice Warriors Need Not Apply" or "Jesus Saves" or "Hail Cthulhu" or "Vote In November" or  "Don't Tread On Me" or "I Love The USA" or "Babies Are People, Too.  Don't Murder Them."

It's 2020.  I don't have to tell you that things are pretty crazy.  Let's not make things worse intentionally by calling out every little thing that might not fit the status-quo or our own personal views of what might be safe or proper or appropriate.  Who knows, maybe we need to get a little problematic in order to right the ship?

While Karen is asking the clerk if she can speak to the manager, I hope the rest of us can go about our daily lives without succumbing to the desire to crush everything that isn't exactly tailored specifically to us.

We're individuals without the need for safe spaces.  Our sensibilities aren't that delicate.

VS

p.s. Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise is out, and I hope you grab the PDF... especially if it offends you (and it probably will).

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Locke Vs. Irusk2 #RockLockeInCoC

I was fortunate enough to be able to get a second game in last week, and I decided I want to start practicing my Convergence.

Since Friday was the release date for Crucible Guard, my FLGS had my preorder for Locke in and I was able to pick her up and assemble it that evening.  On Saturday afternoon I was ready to drop her into whatever my opponent brought. 

Honestly I think Locke is a better Convergence caster than she is in Crucible Guard, and frankly she's going to be more appreciated in CoC than CG because of her spell combination and what it brings to the table for us.  Hence the hashtag: #RockLockeInCoC

For my list I decided I wanted to run a TEP with her, despite the common opinion that it's best to run more heavies.  Part of this was that I've yet to play with a TEP at all and I wanted to see what it can do, but also because it gives us a strong Road to War trigger in that it can fire off at least two shots near guaranteed to kill something, possibly more depending on the matchup.

Here's what I went with:

Locke in Destruction Initiative

-Corollary

-Inverter

-Inverter

-Assimilator

-Cipher

TEP

ADO

ADO

Elimination Servitors

Elimination Servitors

Elimination Servitors

Attunement Servitors

Attunement Servitors

Eilish

Optifex Directive

My friend Brian showed up with Khador and decided to try out Armored Corps:

Irusk2

-Spriggan

-Rager

Man-o-War Shocktroopers + UA

Man-o-War Demo Corps + Dragos

Man-o-War Siege Chariot

Man-o-War Drakhun

Man-o-War Kovnik

Kommandant Atanas Arconovich & Standard

Man-o-War Suppression Tanker

Man-o-War Suppression Tanker

Kayazy Eliminators

We rolled for scenario and got the brand new Mirage, which is incredibly live.

Brian set the terrain around the table and I won the roll off, he picked sides.

Deployment, Mistakes, and My Turn 1

I didn't get a picture of the pure deployment, and after the game we realized Brian didn't take any advanced moves from his theme benefit. Neither of us thought it would have been particularly impactful to how the game played out given that I out threat his units by a decent amount and the fact that Locke doesn't need to cast Engine of Destruction to be able to easily hit the Man-o-War troops, especially if I play my Attunement Servitors correctly. This lets her hot swap around Red Line if necessary and with two Inverters that have chain weapons to ignore shield bonuses, further swinging things my way. 

Of note: Brian is proxying Sorcha3 as the Shocktrooper UA. 

I do however have a picture of my turn 1 after I ran everything forward:

I will likely put another post up expressly about how to deploy Locke and her Vector package so that she can cast all her upkeeps on turn 1 and still have the Corollary's free focus allow all the jacks to run turn 1, while ending things so that the Corollary can get the focus back at the end of the run/induction sequence.  There are at least a few other casters in Convergence who need to use the Corollary/Induction focus game to get their spells cast turn 1 while also ensuring the Corollary can be primed for turn 2. 

Brian's Turn 1

Brian runs basically everything up, though he keeps the Siege Chariot back a bit further than I expected. He is flanking hard with the Drakhun to threaten my TEP once it comes up to shoot. One mistake I think Brian has made was not positioning so that Irusk could cast Fire for Effect on the Chariot, though against Destruction Initiative the Siege Chariot is going to really struggle due to all my shield guards. 

My Turn 2

Pre-measuring shows me that I can safely get the Drakhun in range of the TEP while also staying back far enough to avoid the Shock Troopers. I configure the TEP to use 2 dice to hit, 4 dice to damage, and one extra shot.  Between that and one Elimination Servitor shot, the Drakhun dies. 

I also use the Assimilator to catch three Shocktroopers in a ground pounder, which was particularly effective since the Shocktroopers needed to run on turn 1. This put some damage into the unit while I managed to spike and kill one Shocktrooper outright. 

I position the Redline Inverter on the right to be just out of the Spriggan's 11" max melee threat. I position a servitor on both the middle and right flags to force contesting. I don't bother with the left flag since he doesn't have any solos close enough to take it and is already contesting in a way I can't meaningfully kill anyway.

I do however position two servitors on the left flank and shoot them with rough terrain from the Cipher to make things at least inconvenient for the Eliminators. I could have done better with placement.

Brian's Turn 2

Brian runs his Kayazy around the rough terrain to contest my zone. Atanas gives the Demo Corps pathfinder and they run/charge to clear a servitor and contest the center flag.  Irusk puts Artifice of Deviation on the lake and the Shocktroopers shield wall up.

The Siege Chariot takes a shot at my Cipher and I shield guard, however I do it to a servitor that is then in line to slam into on of my ADO's, which I was planning on to arc spells over to the Kayazy. Note for next time, pick better shield guard targets.

Brian of course feats this turn to slow down my reprisal, though he is unable to catch the TEP and Cipher in his feat.

Brian scores his zone but I'm able to score my right flag, so we tie scenario 1-1.

My Turn 3

Locke allocates two focus to Cipher and holds onto 5 to try and spell down the Eliminators. The Cipher takes its sentry shot with the POW6 blast at the Eliminators but it scatters far off of them.

The Optifex directive moves up and gets into my zone fully while also giving the Cipher and left Inverter pathfinder. Then I move on to Flare Time from the Attunement servitors: My left most Attunement servitor aims and is within 5" of the Eliminators. I manage to nail the 8 to hit and flare both Eliminators.  I then use another servitor to flare the Spriggan and another two servitors are able to flare the entire Shocktrooper units.

The Corollary fills to 3 Focus and transfers it to the Assimilator.  The Assimilator then moves its paltry 2" to get out of the TEP's way and drops shots onto four Shocktroopers via ground pounder.  I'm able to boost three damage rolls and kill two outright, damaging two others. This focus inducts to the Redline Inverter on the right.

This proc's Road to War for the right Redline Inverter and the left Inverter.  The TEP moves up and I consider just trying to spray the Objective down but I figure the Inverter should be able to pull that off.  I then start using 5 dice to damage shots into the cluster of three Shocktroopers still alive. After both shots I leave the UA on one box, and it passes its tough checks from Elimination servitor shots.

Locke activates and feats, moving 2" into the zone to get in range of the Eliminators. I boost to hit Bombshell on them and hit, then boost blast on the second Eliminator to....eliminate both of them and clear my zone.  With Solid Ground purified off, the Redline Inverter charges into the Spriggan (induct to Corollary) and puts a Macropummler + precision strike to take out the Cortex and knock the jack down. I then take two swings with the chain arm into the objective, killing it, and then take my last two  swings into the Spriggan (induct to the other Inverter), ignoring its shield and crippling its lance arm. 

I charge the left Inverter into the Demo Corps but only get one in melee (this inducts to the Corollary). This was the only one that was contesting the center flag however. I'm unable to buy more attacks and the focus sits.  I then use the Cipher to walk into the Demo Corps and start wailing, doing damage but not killing any models yet due to Sanguine Bond.

Once everything was done, I scored 4 points this turn: My zone, Brian's Objective, Center Flag, and the Right Flag.  Brian scores nothing and I'm up 5-1.

Brian's Turn 3

The Demo Corps get Vengeance moves/attacks which result in getting a crit stationary result on my Inverter, who then starts taking tons of damage. Luckily my Cipher gets missed by both Demo Corps.

Irusk allocates one to the Rager, then moves up and casts Battle Lust on the Demo Corps and cast a second spell that I don't remember, giving me two feat tokens that I put on my Cipher.

Dragos annihilates the stationary Inverter, but the other Demo Corps start missing/not doing enough damage to my Cipher to take any systems out.  The Siege Chariot impacts its way into the zone and takes a shot at my objective, which I shield guard to a servitor that doesn't slam into the objective.

Then Brian makes a mistake by using the Rager to try and attack my Inverter, using focus to boost damage rolls which then gives me more feat tokens which I put on the Inverter. Not much damage is done and to put insult over injury the Rager rolls a 2 and blows itself up.  What Brian should have done was run to contest my flag.

Brian moves up the Suppresion tankers and sprays down the servitors on my flags, but isn't close enough to contest.

Realizing his error he charges the Shocktrooper UA into the TEP, doing decent damage but not enough to kill it. Neither of us score any CP's this turn.

My Turn 4

To end the game I simply move an Elimination servitor up behind the lone Shock Trooper and use gun fighter to plink her to death. An ADO moves to my right flag and I win the game on scenario 6-1.

Conclusions

After the game we spoke about how the Armored Corps list was slow, and then we remembered he would have had advanced move on a bunch of models.

After writing the report it's clear this would have helped him more than we initially thought about the game. He would have at least been in shield wall for my turn two shooting instead of having had to run, or he would have been significantly closer to charging me.  The downside to this is that he potentially gets into my threat ranges with the Shock Troops who match up very poorly into Chain Weapon wielding Inverters.

The Siege Chariot ends up being effectively terrible in this match due to my high number of shield guards, and my winning the dice roll to go first really hurts on a scenario this live vs. a list as slow as his where he will be out threat significantly due to Road to War and Redline.  Since he's so low on DEF I don't need Engine of Destruction to hit, allowing me to cycle Redline easily which would punish him moving up enough for scenario.

I think Brian just needs a few mods to his list and he can be in a much better position for this game, though I'm not sure this kind of melee oriented Armored Corps wants to fight into #RockLockeInCoC.  Convergence guns can eat through Demo Corps and our best melee Jack can power right on through Shocktroopers shield wall.

As for evaluating Locke herself and CoC in general, I definitely liked the list.  I appreciated the amount of firepower I can bring to bear in a jack focused list design while also having a high enough model count to be relevant at least early on in scenario and being able to have a competent melee threat as well.  

I'm overall very excited to play CoC once the Scrum is over and enjoy the change of pace from Trolls. I think Destruction Initiative is very well positioned to excel in SR2018, and there may be some really strong play that can be done with a Prime Axiom that can create "free" servitors every turn to contest or score.  Similarly I think that if I owned all the Obstructors I needed there may be some game for Clockwork Legion as well, but that's a separate question that requires some testing. 

Finally, if you're playing Locke in Convergence, make sure to let PP know how much we appreciate her with #RockLockeInCoC

ASOIAF: Tywin Lannister 40Pt Army

My point exactly.

In my previous article, I gave you guys the rundown for how I go about building army lists.  I always start with the Commander first and then try to take units that best take advantage of their tactics cards.  Well, I decided to get the party started with my favorite character from GoT:  Tywin Lannister.  Lannisters, in general, have a ton of control elements and I think Tywin just adds to the flavor in a big way.  He is a battlefield commander so that means you put him with your frontline troops in any one of the units that he can be taken in.  Since he's considered an infantry character, you have to put him in one of your infantry units.  I decided to put Tywin inside a unit of Mountain Men because they have a pretty respectable save of 4+.  Besides, having two chances to apply Panic-based damage is great.  More on this later.

For now, let's take a look at Tywin himself and his Tactics cards to see what he offers us:

Just look at this badass.

From the get-go, you can see that Tywin is all about making your opponents' units Weakened and then exploiting those tokens and effects to your advantage.  Immediately, you can see that Tywin's Commander card has built-in Lannister Supremacy and Fear of the Lion.  Fear of the Lion combos really nicely with Tywin's tactics cards because it allows him to place a free Weaken token on any enemy unit within Long Range of his unit when he activates.  I put him with Mountain Men because MMs already have built-in Vicious so on the offense, they can make opponents take Panic Tests with a -2 modifier.  When they attack back, Tywin's Lannister Supremacy makes it so if I roll a 7+ on my Panic test, my opponent has to take another test at -2 again.  This is some pretty silly free damage if my opponent rolls poorly and can also be a form of damage negation because the more models they lose to Panic checks, the less damage they will do because of the ranks lost.  Throw Weaken on top of this from Tywin and it becomes a force multiplier.

The Lion doesn't mess around.

The Tactics cards themselves are very nasty. Exploit Weakness is a perfect example of a card that kicks your opponent when they're down.  If you spend the Weaken token, you can force your opponent re-roll all of their successful hits and any 1s to pop up will deal automatic wounds to their unit on top of whiffing on their attacks.  This is extremely effective at taking down heavy cavalry because it essentially turns that units attack into wounds that bypass saves.  The Lion's Wrath is a great card because it affects ALL enemy units on the board that has Weaken on them and it lasts until the end of the round.  You will hear me say this a lot, but anything that lasts an entire round is super good.  Players take alternating turns activating their units, but rounds last after all player turns are finished.  This means that for the duration of the round, anything Weakened on the battlefield will be moving -1 movement AND suffering Disorderly Charge on a roll of 1-2.  First, this card auto-applies a Weaken effect anywhere on the board, but Disorderly Charge is super frustrating when it happens.  Another example of Lannisters kicking you while you're down, but Disorderly Charge robs you from your ability to re-roll hits on a Charge AND essentially silences you for the rest of that unit's turn.  Players cannot play Tactics cards for the remainder of that unit's action, and if you miss the actual charge itself, that unit has to take a Panic test.  Lastly, we have Lannister Intimidation.  This is pretty much a hard silence on the enemy unit and all of its attachments until the end of the round.  Again, end of the round here folks, Tywin doesn't F around.  Almost everything he does is centered around making your opponents' units weaker while giving slightly leveraging your battlefield position.

Pycelle is an auto-include with Tywin.

As for unit selection, there are quite a few things you can do and I think Tywin is one of the more flexible commanders for how you want to build the list.  To make things a little easier, let me first start off by saying that you should probably take Pycelle as your first NCU.  Pycelle is incredible with Tywin because he puts Weaken tokens on your opponents when he claims a zone.  This is exactly what Tywin needs when playing his Tactics cards and Pycelle on the Tactics zone after The Lion's Wrath will see 3 enemy units Weakend on a single turn.  Now, Varys is pretty much one of the best NCUs in the game IMO.  His ability is incredibly good even if you only have a limited amount of Order tokens.  The ability to stop a crucial game-altering tactics board play or NCU ability from triggering when claiming a zone can be huge.  Since Lannisters is a control-heavy faction in general, you will see me playing Varys a lot in my lists.

Alright, enough talk, here's the list:

Faction: House Lannister
Commander: Tywin Lannister – Lord of Casterly Rock
Points: 40 (4 Neutral)

Combat Units:
• Lannister Guardsmen (5)
  with Assault Veteran (1)
• House Clegane Mountain Men (6)
  with Tywin Lannister – Lord of Casterly Rock (0)
• House Clegane Mountain Men (6)
  with Assault Veteran (1)
• Lannister Crossbowmen (6)
• Knights of Casterly Rock (8)

Non-Combat Units:
• Pycelle – Grand Maester (3)
• Lord Varys – The Spider (4)

Made with ASOIAFBuilder.com

As you can see, I have quite a bit of diversity in there with 7 total activations (5 combat and 2 NCUs).  Combat activations matter for deployment, but total activations matter for how much control you have over the board state.  That will be its own article at another time, but this isn't the first time I've played a minis game where activation and unit activation order matters a lot.  Anyways, let's take a look at the rest of the list I have here:  You will see Guardsman with Assault Vet, Tywin in MM and another unit of MM because they're a rock-solid unit.  Assault Veterans because I love the aggression and they are great with Tywin because Weaken basically ensures that there will be a second round of combat and your guys will attrition quite well.  For the Guardsman, you can also choose to bring along a Guard Captain to auto-pass Panic and therefore guarantees Lannister Supremacy every time.

When it comes to rounding out the rest of the army, Crossbowmen are there so they can pick off enemy units from range.  From here, you can generally branch into any direction you want to bring for the meta.  You can take another unit of Lannister Guards, another unit of MM, but for diversity and the ability to harass objectives, I decided to go with Xbows.  If you think about it, if you're running a pretty aggressive infantry army, having 7 shots of Sundering from Long Range that hits on 3s is no joke.  On top of that, I've decided to go wih a unit of Knights of Casterly Rock because they're a pretty decent unit to have for the points.  Some people don't like them because you need to play them well and they're not push and win like the Flayed Men, but if you get them on the flank of a combat you need to win, you will like them a lot.  They're designed to win on the charge so if you're not destroying units on the charge, think about saving them until you do or else you'll have to waste turns (or Manuever on the Tactics Board) to set them up again.

Stay tuned for my next article where I cover one of my favorite Stark lists to play right now!